So now the NASA confirmed there is a significant amount of water on the moon after investing 79 million US dollar on this 'crashing the moon' project. Well I'm not saying it is not an exciting news. At least now we know more about our 'surrounding'. But at the moment I saw this news, a question immediately popped up. Why do we spend so much money on exploring the universe? I know curiosity is a reason. What else? Prepare for the great migration to other place other than the earth which will eventually come one day? I am sure there are some more legitimate reasons but I know the migration one is also a legitimate one.

Why are we spending so much money on locating and preparing for a second home but not spending the money on preserving the home we are having now? Why don't we spend more money on developing renewable resources and inventing eco-friendly technology? Maybe my thought is childish. But to me, now it is like you have a prefect girlfriend but your relationship with her is somehow deteriorating. What you do is you spending time on checking out other girls instead of working on the relationship. I have married to the earth. I don't want a second home in any other place other than the earth.

Never has a period in my life that I feel myself being so incapable like what I feel for myself these days. I don't know why I was chosen. I don't know what can motivate me to discipline myself and have a better time management. I don't know how to organize my schedule so that there will be a slightly higher chance that I can be more well-prepared before my placement started in December. I am just in a total confusion. Don't know why I'm here, how far I can go, and if I can really continue to walk on the road I've dreamed for long. Would Obama still be today's US president if he thought the black could never be elected? Would Forrest Gump be that successful if he thought he could achieve nothing with his impaired cognitive ability? Could a person still achieve something if she has already lost faith in herself?

How powerful is 'dream'? How powerful is passion? When I was in high school, form teachers reminded us never just listen to your heart without considering your ability when making a decision on what to study in the university. It's good to have a dream, but following a dream may not neccessarily lead you to where you want to go. In the toastmaster club meeting today, one of the speakers talked about 'dream a bigger dream'. If the original path connecting you to your dream does not seem to work, yet your dream is still alive, then go for another path. Keep the fire burning, keep the dreams alive, keep the faith, these are why there are so many beautiful miracles in the world.

'Life is a box of chocolate, you never know what is the next that you can get.' Another quote I heard today. Lucky that I have a dream and I still believe my faith will take me to the final destination. I'm waiting for my favorite piece of chocolate to come.

I'm too stubborn
I'm too optimistic in 60% of the time,
and too pessimistic in 30% of the time

Luckily I'm now in the 10% of time that is neither too optimistic nor too pessimistic.
So I will tell myself, why not just let it be?

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I am not a believer in God, at least not a whole-heartedly devoted one. But when will I have the wisdom to know the difference between things I cannot change and things that I can change? What can I do? What do I want to achieve? What is my social responsibility? What should I give? Am I glorifying my future-profession, or I am just too ignorance on this field? One needs to be realistic and open-minded. Too high-sounding goals and over-fantasized aspirations only build an illusive platform. High enough, but sooner or later will fall on the solid ground, when all the illusions are gone.